Princesses
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Princesses gossip and scheme over tea. Het, Slash, Group, and Femme Slash. AU. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Belle star. Mentions of Shrek, Robin Hood, Once Upon A Time, Aladdin, The 10th Kingdom, and The Little Mermaid.


Title: "Princesses"  
Author: Kat Lee  
For: Ozsaur's prompt at the SmallFandomsFest LJ comm: FairyTales - Crossover - Cinderella, Snow White, & Sleeping Beauty - Tea and gossip  
Rating: R/M  
Summary: Princesses gossip and scheme over tea.  
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"I'll be fine, Grumpy," Snow White assured the angry Dwarf and calmly took another sip of her delicious, herbal tea. "Charming's not going to find me here, and even if he did, I already told you I have more than enough material on him so that he will never try to keep you or your brothers away from me again."

Grumpy hefted his shining axe a little higher onto his small but muscular shoulder. "He better not." He sniffed with disdain and looked around them again. Snow White and the other Princesses watched as his dark and beady eyes carefully took in every spot of Cinderella's sitting room. He inhaled deeply. "I don't smell him, so he ain't near. But if he shows up and tries again, you just call. I'm ready to chop his head off."

Belle, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty exchanged a worried glance, but Snow took Grumpy's comment in stride. "Yes, dear, I know. You'll give me his head for a trophy, and we'll never have to look at his kingdom again. One day, perhaps, but not today, okay?"

"Humph. We'll be just outside."

Snow White sighed as Grumpy left. Her shoulders slumped, and for the first time since the other Princesses had known her, she truly looked her age.

"They never give you a moment's peace, do they?" Cinderella asked her gently.

Sleeping Beauty yawned. The only peace she got was when she slept, and no matter what any one else said, she knew she didn't get enough sleep. Her husband tended to make certain of that. She loved Phillip, but the man never got enough! He left her continuously sore and exhausted.

Belle studied her tea cup as though it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in all the nine realms while Snow answered Cinderella, albeit a bit hesitantly, "They mean well, but no, honestly, they never leave me alone unless I'm with other Princesses."

Remembering something she'd heard recently, Sleeping Beauty perked up. She opened her mouth to speak, but Snow White continued before she could say anything. "They're just afraid that Charming's going to try to take me away from them again."

"What kind of material do you have that would keep him from doing so?" Cinderella asked curiously. As the eldest, it was her duty to know everything that happened in all the realms even before it happened.

Snow quirked an eyebrow. "What kind do you think?" she asked haughtily.

"You'd blackmail your own husband?"

"It's not like I married him out of love."

"I still don't get why his kiss broke your spell if you don't love him."

Snow White shrugged. "The Witch screwed up?" she suggested. "My stepmother always was good at doing that."

Sleeping Beauty jumped into the conversation. "They might not want to leave you alone much longer at all." She yawned loudly. "I mean, with other Princesses and all."

Snow White looked puzzedly at her. "Why not?"

Belle looked up from tea cup and across to Sleeping Beauty, who was grinning widely with the secret she'd heard.

"What do you know," Cinderella demanded, "that I do not?"

"You girls haven't heard about Ariel and Jasmine?"

"Nooo," Cinderella spoke slowly.

"What about Ariel and Jasmine?" Belle asked curiously.

"Aladdin caught them making love." Sleeping Beauty beamed at the astonished looks on the other Princess' faces. She giggled and let her feet swing from her high chair. "And that's not even the best part!"

"You're kidding!" Snow exclaimed.

"What _is_ the best part?" Belle questioned.

"He didn't care!" Sleeping Beauty exclaimed, laughing. "He's already been doing that Genie they have!"

Snow White rolled her brown eyes. "What is it with people and Genies?"

"What is it with you and Dwarves?" Belle teased, grinning.

Snow smiled. "Don't knock the short people until you've had one. You know, I told you I'd let you borrow Dopey."

"And I told you I don't need him." Her grin was even larger as Belle shook her head. "My man is all the beast any woman could take, and he's all mine!"

"Speaking of your man, or Beast, if you prefer," Cinderella queried, looking directly at the single brunette in their midst, "I heard a rumor that he had dealings with Rumpelstiltskin."

"That's an old rumor," answered Belle, "but it's hardly the truth. I think the Sorceress who cast the spell on him had dealings with Rumpelstiltskin but not my Beast. Speaking of which, has there been any lead on tracking her down?"

"Not yet, although why you'd want to turn him back into the beast, I hardly understand." Cinderella shook her regal head.

"If you'd had the beast and the man," Belle returned quickly, "you'd get it."

Sleeping Beauty yawned again. "Why would you want somebody insatiable?" she questioned, her exhaustion clear. "Phillip never leaves me enough energy to do anything but make love to him! It's a good thing we have people to tend to the house and lawns!"

"They're probably about to have even more work," Snow put in, "if what I heard has any truth to it."

All three of the other Princesses turned immediately to her. "What did you hear?" Cinderella was the first to ask.

"Sleeping Beauty's kingdom borders Far Far Away. As you all know, their Princess has been missing for well over a decade, but she returned about a month ago."

"I heard about that."

"Yeah? Did you also hear that she's an Ogre because she took true love's form and her true love is an Ogre?"

"Oh my gosh!" Belle exclaimed, covering her open mouth with a hand. "Tell me you're kidding!"

Snow White shook her head.

"Euuw!" Sleeping Beauty exclaimed, crinkling her nose.

Cinderella gave a heavy sigh. "What are these realms coming to?" Her blue eyes rose up as though trying to look at the crown on her blonde head. "My crown gets heavier every day."

"I'll trade you," Belle quickly offered.

"No, thank you." Cinderella shook her head. "As heavy as it is, it is my burden to bear." She couldn't help the small grin her lips twisted up into. It might be a burden, and she might hardly ever admit it, but there were some pleasures that went with being the oldest Princess in the lands, too. "When you've worked as hard as I do, and lived as long as I have, Belle, then my crown may be yours."

It was never going to happen. She was never going to advocate her throne. She'd be living, and ruling, long after she'd put her Prince Charming in the ground. Of course, however, Cinderella said none of that aloud, but she did hold her head a little higher and her back a little taller and straighter.

Snow White stuck her tongue out at her. "You're always so quick to remind every one that you're the eldest, Cindy, but you're not that much older than I am."

"No, dear, but I'm also not letting seven men control my life."

Snow laughed. "They only _think_ they're controlling me! Think about it, sister: I got seven men to _share_ me! Have you ever heard of any other woman getting that many guys to share her?"

"I still don't understand why you would want so many," Belle said. "Having one, even if he _is_ a human Prince now is plenty enough for me!"

"She's insatiable," Sleeping Beauty attempted to explain between yawns. Her blue eyes rolled. "She should have Phillip."

"Honey, Grumpy would chop off both of his heads if he got anywhere near my bed!" Snow proudly declared.

"One of them wouldn't be that big a loss," Sleeping Beauty told her, "and it's not as though he uses the other one all that much."

Cinderella looked up as the clock began chiming the hour. "I hate to cut this tea party short, girls, but I must prepare for travel."

"Where are you going today, Cindy?" Belle, always the curious one, asked.

"I have to visit Sherwood. One of my people there has told me that the Lady Marian has ties to that cunning thief, Robin Hood."

"He'd be pretty cute," Sleeping Beauty said, her words punctuated by yet another yawn, "if he'd stick to robbing in his own kingdom."

"But he has not." Cinderella finished the last drop of her tea, put her cup down, and rang the bell for her maid. Her blue eyes were piercing as they turned back to the other Princesses, each of whom felt a shiver go down their royal spines. "Thereby, Maid Marian and I must have a little chat." She smiled a thin-lipped smile in which there was neither humor nor happiness. "I must make her understand that, should he persist in stealing in other kingdoms, it will be made to where he can not even steal so much as a good night kiss from her reportedly rosy lips."

Snow touched her own lips in remembering thought. "Why is it they always say we have rosy lips?"

"I don't know," Sleeping Beauty commented with a shrug.

"My Prince never has," Belle spoke proudly, "but perhaps your Princes all have a thing for roses?"

"Perhaps," Cinderella spoke, "but you must take your leave of me for now, girls. I will see you again at three in two days' time."

"Yes, Your Majesty," Snow White nodded, playing the part she knew was expected of her, "but I must say, it would be nice if our Princes would for once deal with their own messes in their kingdoms."

"When they begin taking that much interest in the affairs of the court," Cinderella advised her, standing, "I would advise you to let your Grumpy's axe swing for they'll be looking far too closely."

"That's true," Belle said quietly. "We all have things we don't want them finding out."

"Speak for yourselves." Sleeping Beauty's yawn was almost bigger than her head.

"Shut that mouth, girl!" Snow commanded. "I swear you could swallow Sneezy in one of your yawns!"

"Sorry." Sleeping Beauty wiped a bit of moisture from her lips. "But, seriously, I don't care what Phillip finds out about me. Maybe it would make him want me less."

"We want them to continue to want us, even if they are a bore in the bedroom . . . " Cinderella's eyes moved to Belle. " . . . if they do not hold up to how they first were when we became their Princesses . . . " She looked pointedly to Snow White. " . . . if we have to argue every day of our lives to keep our Dwarves from slicing off their heads . . . " Her gaze pinned Sleeping Beauty at last. " . . . or if their antics seem worse than a horny bear just awakened from hibernation."

Sleeping Beauty snorted. "I'd rather do a bear."

Belle sighed wistfully. "You're not the only one, girl." Oh, how she longed for her nights with a true Beast to be upon her again!

"The point I am attempting to make, _ladies_," Cinderella snapped, "is that we can not do what we do without a crown on our regal heads. Which of you wishes to go back to where you were before? Sleeping Beauty, do you wish the rest of your life to be controlled by meddling Faeries? Snow, I know you like your Dwarves, but I also know you enjoy your riches. And, Belle, do you yearn to go back to the country side and continue tending to your father for the rest of your days or would you rather have Mrs. Potts to care for him?"

"I, for one, certainly do not want to go back to rags and spending every waking moment cleaning something nor will I ever again take orders from any one." Cinderella held her head high. "Let the kingdom think that Charming and his parents still rule it. Those who matter know the truth, but we can not be Queens in our own right, not until our husbands' mothers are dead. Even then, the kingdoms will look to our husbands, not to us, so we have to keep these foolish males where they belong: in our beds - " Hearing footsteps outside the room, Cinderella hissed quietly, her blue eyes blazing, " - and under our control!"

Each woman was nodding slowly and seriously as the maid entered. Cinderella clapped her white gloved hands a single time. "Take this all away."

"Yes, ma'am."

Cinderella dismissed the maid as she fulfilled her purpose and looked back to the other Princesses, meeting each of their solemn gazes with her own in turn. "Always remember what I have said."

"Yes," Belle whispered.

Sleeping Beauty nodded.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Snow White agreed, her words granting accordment that Cinderella did possess the rightful title of the eldest, wisest, and most powerful of them, after all.

Cinderella smiled; this time, it was a true smile that she cast upon her friends. "Farewell, Princesses, until Wednesday." They quietly took their leave from their leader but would remember her words throughout all the rest of their days.

**The End**


End file.
